Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
