Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
