well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
