Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
