Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
