i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
