Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
