"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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