Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
