Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
should my penis look like a turkey
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I did not marry a roomba.
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