i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
Fav 3 1048 608 share tweet
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
