Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
