Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize