Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize
