We won't sleep together?
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
