You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
