More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Randomize
