he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize
