It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
