How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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