A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
