I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize
