I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
