well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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