Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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