I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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