why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
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