she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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