margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
