question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
