i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I intend to get homeless drunk
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Randomize
