just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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