Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
