im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
