JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
