I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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