tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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