When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
