And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
That's intense
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Randomize