Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize
