george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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