I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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