when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
