We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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