found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize