i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
