im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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