I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
