I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
