ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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