no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize