Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
she told me i tasted like america
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
