The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
