Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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