This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
