He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
