But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Send help, water and tortillas.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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