Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
