I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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