And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
