dude i'm inner monologue high
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
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