i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Found your dick twin last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
