their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
